FUCK YO' SHIT!

Disturbed-Perfect Insanity

Come inside and be afraid
of this impressive mess I've made
If you take a look now you will find
I have thrown away my prize
Done away with paradise
See what's going on inside my mind
Please let me out
Please let me out
Please let me

Branded like an animal
I can still feel them burning in my mind
I do believe that you made your message clear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)
Deprivating, Isolating all that I feel
Leaving me with images I know are not real
Are those words of condemnation that I hear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)

Come inside now I implore
Do you think you can restore
The crucial pieces missing from my brain
What seems to be the matter dear
Why do you cry and shake with fear
I've only had the best of me insane
Please let me out
Please let me out
Please let me

Branded like an animal
I can still feel them burning in my mind
I do believe that you made your message clear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)
Deprivating, Isolating all that I feel
Leaving me with images I know are not real
Are those words of condemnation that I hear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)

Don't know how much I can take
The secret thoughts inside me
Pray God I've lost what was within me
Oh sweet insanity (2x)

Now I'll try again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind
Itry again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind,
I've lost my mind

Come inside and be afraid
of this impressive mess I've made
If you take a look now you will find
I have thrown away my prize
Done away with paradise
See what's going on inside my mind
Please let me out
Please let me out
Please let me

Branded like an animal
I can still feel them burning in my mind
I do believe that you made your message clear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)
Deprivating, Isolating all that I feel
Leaving me with images I know are not real
Are those words of condemnation that I hear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)

Come inside now I implore
Do you think you can restore
The crucial pieces missing from my brain
What seems to be the matter dear
Why do you cry and shake with fear
I've only had the best of me insane
Please let me out
Please let me out
Please let me

Branded like an animal
I can still feel them burning in my mind
I do believe that you made your message clear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)
Deprivating, Isolating all that I feel
Leaving me with images I know are not real
Are those words of condemnation that I hear
(I think I'm losin' my mind, I think I'm losin' my)

Don't know how much I can take
The secret thoughts inside me
Pray God I've lost what was within me
Oh sweet insanity
Don't know how much I can take
The secret thoughts inside me
Pray God I've lost what was within me
Oh sweet insanity

Now I'll try again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind
Itry again to find
The thing that was my mind
Behold the other side
Cause then I've lost my mind,
I've lost my mind

I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind

LOST!!

I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind
I've lost my mind

I feel so weird. Sick, yet good at the same time. Since I started taking Zoloft, i've been getting stomach aches and head aches more often, but I feel so full of energy, if the meds don't make me too drowsy. I'm actually going to go on a jog later. Fucking amazing.

I'm going to start exercising more. I'm going to lose this bit of excess weight over summer, or i'll kick it into over drive by the time school starts. Of course, i'm going to start eating a tad healthier. Less soda, and the substitute will be iced tea. Less candy too. That part will be hard for me. I really need an inhaler, my lungs suck ass monkeys.

My exercise schedule:

Everyday:

Situps: 200
Pushups: 400
Crunches: 160

Well, no more school. Expect to see a bit more of me. Also, add me on MSN if have it, or AIM. ZenonsFreakShow@aol.com Christ, by the time I graduate, I will have taken between 14 and 16 computer classes. I will be the mastah!

This summer, I plan on changing alot. Like I said, i'm going to lose weight, i'm going to become more social, hopefully become less self concious, i'm getting an amethyst stud in my right ear, and i'm going to start learning danish. I will also, hopefully, get my name changed to Zacherieh Rush Ulven. Ulven is Danish for wolf, or wolves. I can't remember.

I am fucking in love with my hair. I'm gonna get some purple styling gel when I get my haircut. I love Zoloft. It makes me feel so good about myself. Fuck yeah.

Wow, my face is surprising close to the golden ratio. If my eyes were a bit lower and closer together, it'd be near perfect.

I feel terrible. I was RPC'd today. Before 2nd period ended.... I may have to talk to the police, i'm not certain though. What makes me feel the worst, is that I now have a record. 2 weeks left of school...It made me cry. For the first time in years, I fucking cried. Though, this mistake, it will, and has helped me. I had to rethink my entire life. I'm going to try my hardest from now on. I'm going to be the best. I won't let anything stop me, school comes before all. No more slacking, no more procrastinating. It stops now.

*sigh* I have to go see a psychiatrist. I'll tell yah all about it when I go.

I already done did that. Here you go.

Mad World-Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going nowhere, Going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, No expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, No tomorrow

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best i've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very mad world, mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
And they feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me whats my lesson
Look right through me, Look right through me

And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad
These dreams in which i'm dying, Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very mad world, mad world

Enlargen your world

Mad World

Mad World

End Of The Line-The Offspring

When the sirens flash is gone
And we're left to carry on
All the memories are too few

When the pastor's music plays
And that casket rolls away
I could live again if you
Just stay alive for me

Please stay now, you left me here alone, its the end of the line
Please stay, I cant make it on my own
Whoa, its the end of the line
Whoa

Now that you are dead and gone
And I'm left to carry on
I could never smile 'cause you
Wont stay alive for me

Please stay now, you left me here alone, its the end of the line
Please stay, I cant make it on my own
Whoa, its the end of the line
Whoa

Finally
Your final resting day
Is without me
I weep
And think of brighter days
What about me?

You cant take back the one mistake
That still lives on after life, it takes
And that one day that changed our lives
And bitter memories are left behind

You cant take back the one mistake (whoa)
That still lives on after life, it takes
In that one day that changed our lives (whoa)
And bitter memories are left behind, oh yeah

Please stay now, you left me here alone, its the end of the line (whoa)
Please stay, I cant make it on my own, its the end of the line (whoa, make it on my own)
Please stay now, you left me here alone, its the end of the line (whoa)
Please stay, I cant make it on my own (whoa)

I'm angry. Flickr is a bitch, and Kaitlyn's camera died while uploading...she lost the charger. *random grumblings and mumblings* Oh well. I got a cute pic of her. She just happens to be wearing what she always wears around me after 7 or so.... teasing bitch. She took it in a very myspace whore way though.

HOLLYWOOD UNDEAD-THE LOSS

Sick with myself,
But I've got no one else,
So I give it to myself
It's the only thing that helps

It's the same thing
This pain thing
That keeps me from sleeping
And screaming that god
I must be mother fucking dreaming

And I can rest in peace
And at least cease to be
Cease to see those things in me
That make me wanna cease to breathe

And ceased to need
And ceased to feed,
Sickness that's in me
This is all that I can be,
I can't breathe as I bleed

I don't know why I cut myself,
God, give me a sign or help
I won't cry it'll be fine,
I'll take my last breath
Push it out my chest
'Till there's nothing left

I know that my minds near the end,
God, I hurt myself and fell
I won't cry it'll be fine,
I'll take my last breath
Push it out my chest
'Till there's nothing left

Have you ever met a living legend,
Just a real friend
Who planned his end?
And where do I began
You said it was pretend.
And when the bullet went through
It took more then just you,
It took two, it was you,
It was me, and suddenly
How can someone say they're helpless?
And then they act so selfish.
You put me through hell with this
So fuck you lets just end this.
And what about our friendship
And what you did was senseless.
You thought you found an exit.
Like I said lets end this.

I don't know why I cut myself,
God, give me a sign or help
I won't cry it'll be fine,
I'll take my last breath
Push it out my chest
'Till there's nothing left

I know that my minds near the end,
God, I hurt myself and fell
I won't cry it'll be fine,
I'll take my last breath
Push it out my chest
'Till there's nothing left

I just wanna say good bye,
Disappear with no one knowing
I don't wanna live this lie,
Smiling to the world unknowing,

I don't want you to try,
You've done enough to keep me going,
I'll be fine, I'll be fine,
I'll be fine for the very last time.

I don't know why I cut myself,
God, give me a sign or help
I won't cry it'll be fine,
I'll take my last breath
Push it out my chest
'Till there's nothing left

I know that my minds near the end,
God, I hurt myself and fell
I won't cry it'll be fine,
I'll take my last breath
Push it out my chest
'Till there's nothing left

I made myself a new friend. He's awesome. His name is Greg, and he is Gergaloth. He's fucked up, i'm fucked up, it just works, okay? Also, he got lazy, so he used voice clips instead of typing. He has a nice voice. I felt like I was having a real conversation with him.

THE OFFSPRING

I love the offspring, and Dexter Holland is the only person in this world I could consider a real hero of mine. YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAYYAAYAYYAAYYAY!!!!!!
I can't wait for their newest album, Rise and Fall, Rage and Grace.

I'm going to convince my mom to buy me some things. Such as:
The Offspring hat
The Offspring watch
The Offspring complete video dvd I already have all of the albums, except for the new one, cuz it's not out yet.
Several Offspring shirts. 1 2 3 4
Offspring hoddie I only wear zip up hoddies.
Offspring stickers
A penicorn
A few knives
Mindless other shit from thinkgeek.

Hollywood Undead-Knife Called Lust

I look alive, I'm dead inside.
My heart has holes and black blood flows.
We'll do some drugs, well fall in love and get fucked up while the world just shrugs.
With no thought Logically.
Were wondering the streets so aimlessly.
I hate to see these kids just being put down so painlessly.
And people say you Dye your hair and wear tight jeans.
That doesn't mean that you can't scream, or like loud noise, you got a choice, you have a voice.
And just because you showed no love and hate on us you fucked our trust.
Now watch we thrust this knife called Lust into my Chest until it busts.
This love , This Hate Is burning me away (is burning me away)
It's hard to face that we're all the same.
This love, This Hate
Is Burning me away (is burning me away)
It's harder times like these that never change (That never change)
Mad at the fact your dad is an addict, your friend takes pills he thinks it cures sadness, I'm not here to attack or make you kids panic, but i just think it's tragic the way these kids have it.
Everybody sins and it all begins, it goes back around, nobody ever wins.
You stab yourself in the back, EVERYBODY JUST RELAX!
It all just hits so close to home, we all got friends but we stand alone, and your on your own from a broken home.
You keep the truth inside and it stays unknown.
Nostalgia hit and its time to quit, and everybody acts like it don't mean shit.
And your friend will stab you just to fuck some girl, put your hands in the air and scream FUCK THE WORLD!!!
Let go
I'll bring you closer
Right now
I'll hold on tightly
Let go
We're going no where
Somewhere
And things aren't over
Harder times like these!
Growing up on the streets!
Harder times like these!
I'll put you back on your feet!
And I fall to the ground with my teardrops
And I get lost every time my heart stops
This love this hate is burning me away

POSTAL2 DEMO!!!!!!!!!!

You get to piss on people..... and use cats....

Just because I can, I'm going to start working out while on newgrounds. I spend about 6 hours a day, on school days here, so I think I'll get enough exercise. Oh, and I started this after my 1,400th post. WOO!

BBS post: 10 push ups/ 8 sit ups
Flash review: 12 push ups/ 6 sit ups
Audio reveiw: 8 push ups/ 16 sit ups
Level up: 1.5*level push ups/ level + 4 sit ups
Ban: 5*days push ups/ 3*days sit ups
Comment on someone elses blog: 3 push ups/ 3 sit ups
New blog: 10 push ups/ 10 sit ups

Tell me if I missed anything, please. Oh, and I don't need to jog really, my legs are pretty well toned now. I pace about 10 miles a week, at least. When I wait for the bus, when i'm at school, after school, and I usually walk to 7-11 a few times a month. It almost makes me wanna wear shorts. Oh, and lets not forget the running I do in PE.

*does 10 push ups and sit ups*

FETISH LIST 2.0

1. Pedophilia, though I'm sure most of you knew that already.
2. Incest, come on, you want your little cousin too, don't lie to me.
3. Rape, makes me feel kind of ashamed though.
4. Fear, come on, a little screaming girl so so fun.
5. Blood, it's delicious.
6. Sub/Dom/Bondage, kinda goes with rape.
7. Control, that's what rape is about most of the time.
8. Corruption, doesn't making someone as fucked up as you just sound delightful?
9. Ice cream blowjob, it's just heavenly.
10. Pain, though it's technically apart of the other two.
11. Violence, but only in a sexual manner.
12. Anal, I don't want anybody to touch my ass, though i'd gladly touch theirs.
13. Lesbians, they are just so hawt.
14. Twins, 10 year old lesbian twins raping their older sister, nuff said
15. Piss, I'd just love to piss in some girl's mouth.
16. Vore/cannabilism, only in some instances though.

HAVE YOU EVER-THE OFFSPRING

Falling, I'm falling
Falling, I'm falling

Have you ever walked through a room
But it was more like the room passed around you
Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through

Have you ever been at someplace
Recognizing everybody's face
Until you realized that there was no one there you knew
Well I know

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, I'm so outshined and out of time
Have you ever

Falling, I'm falling
Falling, I'm falling

Have you ever buried your face in your hands
Cause no one around you understands
Or has the slightest idea what it is that makes you be

Have you ever felt like there was more
Like someone else was keeping score
And what could make you whole was simply out of reach
Well I know

Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever

Falling, I'm falling
Falling, I'm falling

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, my darkest friend is me again
Have you ever
Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to make the world be a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place
I'd like to leave the world as a better place
I'd like to think the world

POLL!

Should I go FAB?!?!?!!?!? At least on Weekends?

Oh, and this is how I felt before I met Jaclyn and Zach...

Truly Alone-ICP

There ain't nobody, askin' me, where I've been
There ain't nobody, that would name me, as a friend
There ain't nobody, that's droppin' by, to say hi
There ain't nobody, that's carin 'whether I live or die
I have nobody, to tell about, my growing angers
I have nobody, to tell about me, following strangers
There ain't nobody makin' sure I'm taking all of my pills
There ain't nobody, slowing me down and keeping me still, Im truly alone

They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone

There ain't nobody, telling me, not to jump off
There ain't nobody, telling me, not to chop your block off
I get so bloody, I ruin, all of my clothes
I get so bloody, I sit in, the dark alone
I have nobody, to tell about, my dark fantasies
I have nobody, to tell about, my dark realities
There ain't nobody, around me, nobody wanna be friends
I get so bloody, all on me, the mess never ends, I'm truly alone

They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone
They say a man can only be alone for so long, before the man's mind is gone

I walked into a Super K, and went to the back
I started askin' questions checkin' out the chainsaw rack
They had a test model, I pulled the cord and got it runnin'
Turned the blade on the kid workin and blood started gunnin'
"What the fuck am i doing?" I dropped the shit and started crying
I made it down two aisles before some hero clotheslined me
I got up, grabbed a shovel and stabbed him in the gut
I pulled it out and hammered it across the back of his nug
I'm hearing sirens going off, it's no blue light specials
I turned murderer, caving in to daily life pressures
But fuck that now all y'all gonna know me
Seein' me of TV, being like "look there go my homie"
I'm more than lonely I'm lost, lives are the cost,
I just beat some bitch in the head, stabbed her twice and took off
They can't find me I'm hidin' in the flannel coat rack
I jump out and attack and put a gash in your neck
I finally made to the front door and to the parking lot
That's when I got shot, a lot, I got caught
Police withe bullets and more bullets pluggin' me deep
I'm seeing flashes, hearing screamin' and it's all over me
I see a crowd of people being held behind the police tape
All watching me die, I think I made no mistake
I finally got some recognition, dying on my knees
ready for hell because compared to my life it should be an ease..
like easy...
cake walk...
I'm ready...
let's go...

Well, i'm bisexual, or at least bicurious. Yeah, but to make things clear, I'd prefer pitching over catching anyday, well, that's as things stand now. Oh, and i'll tell you all a secret. The first half of my dick, is darker then anywhere else on my body, and it goes from brown, to a pinkish white. It's odd, and the line of change looks like a scar, but it's all good. I'd take a pic, but that would be child porn, sucks for you.

I also just realized that ICP, and Twiztid may just be pedophiles. In several songs they say that they don't care as long as the girl has hair. So yeah. They shoot for 13 year olds. WOOHOO!!!!

I just unlocked the 6th secret, and I am now 27,800 xp away from the final one. That's 2,780 days...simply wonderful. 7.616 years....if I did the math right. It's 5:30am, and I leave for school soon, so get off my back.

Gawd!!!! My computer is such a naughtly little whore, she stripped right in front of me. Look at her, and all her shameful sexiness!!!

RIOT

If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so angry
So ripped off so stepped on
You're not the only one
Refusing to back down
You're not the only one
So get up

Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot

If you feel so filthy
So dirty so fucked up
If you feel so walked on
So painful so pissed off
You're not the only one
Refusing to go down
You're not the only one
So get up

Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot

If you feel so empty
So used up, so let down
If you feel so angry
Just get up

Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot
Let's start a riot, a riot
Let's start a riot

ANIMAL I HAVE BECOME

I can't escape this hell
So many times i've tried
But i'm still caged inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal, this animal)

I can't escape myself
(I can't escape myself)
So many times i've lied
(So many times i've lied)
But there's still rage inside
Somebody get me through this nightmare
I can't control myself

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal

Somebody help me through this nightmare
I can't control myself
Somebody wake me from this nightmare
I can't escape this hell

(This animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal, this animal)

So what if you can see the darkest side of me?
No one will ever change this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal I have become
Help me believe it's not the real me
Somebody help me tame this animal
(This animal I have become)

I'm level 15 bitches. You're just jealous becuase I got the sex weapon. It's too bad i'm only gonna have it for 32 days....oh well.

LIKE OMGZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I just realized that i'm level 15, and that i'm 15 years old. OH SHI-... CONSPIRACIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!11

Awwwwwww.....my flash drive got washed. It still works but it's LED light cover thing came off, though the LED it's self still works. I can't believe it still works at all though. Good thing it's a cheap one.

TWIZTID-FALL APART

I swallow razor blades and spit up blood
Cut out my heart and gave it to my love
I hung myself with an extention cord
And dangled high above the ouiji board
I heard the wind in the trees and it made me scream
I'm wonderin' if it's real life or just another dream
I need something, someone
To help me with my brain because it's fallen apart
I fall apart

I've fallen to pieces but I don't know why
It's all because
It's all because we're all afraid to die
And if you think
And if you think about it, it will eat you
From the inside out till you don't know what to do
You fall apart

I'm drinking gas smoking square after square
I'm looking for this place but I don't know where
I'm just a soul in the land of the lost
I feel the blood in my lungs when I cough
I cut my hands off in the dark and just sat there and bled
Why the whole world fell apart inside of my head?
I need something
Someone
To help me with my brain because it's fallen apart
I fall apart

I've fallen to pieces but I don't know why
It's all because
It's all because we're all afraid to die
And if you think
And if you think about it, it will eat you
From the inside out till you don't know what to do
You fall apart

I broke my rib cage open with a butcher knife
And open up the wound to show my life
I'm not the devil but your momma swear were one in the same
And we didn't make it this way so were not carry in the blame
I've been down and out
I know what that's all about

You fall apart
I need something, someone
Help me with my brain, help me with my brain
You fall apart
I need something, someone
Help me with my brain, help me with my brain

I've fallen to pieces but I don't know why
It's all because
It's all because we're all afraid to die
And if you think
And if you think about it, it will eat you
From the inside out till you don't know what to do
You fall apart

Jumped outta twenty story window today
I got back up and then I walked away
My head was screamin' for a tylenol
Open the bottle and I ate 'em all
My head was spinnin' in a daze and I need to relax
So where's my chainsaw, butcher knife and muthafuckin' axe?

Something, someone
To help me with my brain cause it's fallen apart
I need something, someone
To help me with my brain cause it's fallen apart
I fall apart

[x2]
I've fallen to pieces but I don't know why
It's all because
It's all because we're all afraid to die
And if you think
And if you think about it, it will eat you
From the inside out till you don't know what to do
You fall apart